


Whats Better Than This? Guys Being Pals.

by Alienboy8 (orphan_account)



Category: Ud, Until Dawn
Genre: Asexual Chris, Bisexual Josh Washington, Climbing Class, M/M, Trigger/Content warnings at the beginning of each chapter, Until Dawn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-23 23:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4896178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Alienboy8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh has had a crush on Chris since they were in middle school together. When they enter college together and Chris meets Ashley he instantly fell in love with her. Josh constantly pushes Chris to ask her out because all he wants is Chris to be happy, but when approached by Ashley who confesses she isn't interested in dating Chris she pushes him to talk to Chris about his feelings, which, somehow, results in them going on a roadtrip together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> howdy howdy hey ryan here for a disclaimer: i do not have psychosis which josh is believed to have! im doing hella research on it to make sure i dont get anything wrong but i still dont have it which means i dont know what its like which means i might get some stuff wrong! if you have psychosis and you notice me writing joshs character wrong in that respect, go ahead and correct me! i dont want to mischaracterize him or seem ableist
> 
> that being said, i hope you like my fanfic, hopefully i'll have the inspiration to actually finish this one 
> 
> no trigger/content warnings for this chapter

Joshua Washington

Josh sat in his room with Chris, Chris was silent and clicking away at his 3Ds and Josh was on his laptop.  
Chris was draped over Joshes legs and Josh was using Chris's stomach as a laptop table.

This was how they spent a lot of their time, as best friends they didn't always need to talk. Just being around each other was enough to make them happy. Chris was happy, or at least Josh hoped, and Josh was most definitely happy.

Josh for the longest time, probably since middle school, had the biggest crush on the nerd laying on top of him. It was pathetic almost, and everyone knew how head over heels Josh was for Chris. Except for, of course, Chris. 

Chris and Josh went to the same college together. Josh could have afforded a way better college but he wanted to stay with Chris. On top of that all of his friends lived in the area. Mike, Jess, Emily, Matt, and Ashley.

One of the worst things was that Chris had a huge crush on Ashley. And Josh was pretty sure Ashley liked Chris too. So he pushed Chris to ask out Ashley almost constantly because, one: there was no way in hell Chris liked Josh back. And two: He wanted Chris to be happy, even if that meant being miserable.

"Hey." Josh said suddenly, deciding to check up on the whole Chris/Ashley situation.

"Yeah?" Chris said, not looking away from his Ds.

"Have you talked to Ashely yet?" Josh questioned.

Chris looked at him now, raising an eyebrow at Josh's question.

"About?" Chris asked in return.

"You know what about. You've been avoiding it for like, what, a year now? You should talk to her bro."

"Jesus, why do you get such a hard-on for me asking out Ash?" Chris teased with an incredulous tone. 

"What?! No, bro, I just want you to get this over with. Seeing you puppy dog eye her every time she passes is getting a little pathetic."  
As if he was one to talk about being pathetic.

"Hey shut up." Chris said, but he was smiling a little.  
"I'll talk to her when I talk to her. But whatever dude, I mean, I doubt she likes me so why ruin the friendship you know?"

Josh knew that feeling too well, so he nodded.  
"Yeah dude I know what you're saying. But still, you gotta go for it dude."

"Ugh, butt out." Chris said, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Josh.

Josh grinned at him, catching the lightly thrown pillow, and then Chris grinned back. Josh felt a light fluttering sensation in his chest and he wanted to groan with frustration. He needed to get over this stupid crush. 

-Hour's later-

Chris had left Josh's room to go to his own apartment room, a floor above Josh's room. As soon as Chris had left and Josh had shut his door there was a knock. Josh raised an eyebrow, had Chris forgotten something? He walked over and opened the door, and Ash was standing there. Looking nervous.

Josh looked confused, "uh, are you okay?"

"What? Yeah? I-"

"Chris just left if you're looking for h-"

"No, No, I'm here to talk to you." Ash said, now looking even more embarrassed.

"Uh...Okay? What up?"

Ash looked like she was struggling with the words but then they seemed to burst forward as if she had been holding back on these words for a long time.

"Do you have a crush on Chris?" She asked suddenly, taking Josh extremely by surprise.

"W-What!?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ryan here for yet another disclaimer: im aro as fuck!! i have no idea what its like to have a major crush so like if i fuck up with the emotions and stuff also feel free to call me out on it
> 
> no trigger/content warnings in this chapter

-Josh Washington-

"What?!"

Josh barely got the word out of his mouth before Ashley was pushing her way into Josh's room. He stood there in shock for a second before closing the door and turning to her.

"Sorry, I'm sorry- I just. I've been wanting to ask you for a long time because I don't know it just seems like you and Chris maybe have some...thing?"

"Thing? What kind of thing, Ash what are you talking about?"

"Just- Tell me Josh. Do you have a crush on Chris?"

"What brought this up?"

"You're avoiding the question."

"I'm not avoiding anything, I want to know why you're asking this all of a sudden."

"Well, I mean, you and Chris are super close and I see the way you look at him and it's like you're a highschooler with a huge crush. I won't tell anyone if you do, I swear. You know me Josh, I don't spill secrets."

Josh sighed loudly and walked over to the couch that was in the middle of his apartment living room and then sat down. Ashley followed suit.

"I don't know, maybe, I guess?" Josh said quietly.  
"I don't know," he repeated, then looked over at Ash, hating the pitying look she was giving him.

"I answered you question now you answer mine, what brought this up?" Josh questioned.

Ash looked away, "I just needed to know. You really like him I can tell and-"

"-And, what?" Josh interrupted. "Please don't say you're sorry because I can't take that."

"No, no!" Ash said quickly.  
"Listen, okay? I know Chris likes me, Matt told me a while ago that Chris told him. And yeah, I like Chris back, and maybe if we were in high school I would have asked him out. Or talked to him, or whatever. But- I don't know it's like...I need to put college first? And it wouldn't be fair to him if I asked him out because I would ignore him a lot to get school done. God that makes me sound like a total bitch doesn't it?"

Josh had been listening with a pounding heart, it seemed like his heart was working double-time trying to get blood to his brain which seemed so light and fuzzy.

"No, it-it doesn't." Josh said, his voice slightly empty because his entire emotional scale was currently in his head and heart.

"So..." Ashley said with a deep breath, "I think you should go talk to him. I don't know, he might not even be into guys, but it's better to talk to him than to be stuck wondering what would have happened forever if you didn't. Right?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello im the short chapter king come kneel before me in my inability to stay focused on writing for more than ten minutes 
> 
> no trigger/content warnings for this chapter

-Chris-

It had been less than twenty minutes since Chris had left Josh's apartment and yet there was a knock on the door that made him jump.

He walked over to his door, away from the bowl of cereal he had been eating, to find Josh standing there looking scared but determined.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Chris asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Did I forget something at your place?"

"No bro, it's cool. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, yeah sure." Chris said, standing to the side to let Josh in.

"So what's up?" Chris asked again, turning to look at Josh after he had closed the door.

"Okay, okay, whats say you and me go on a roadtrip. Like, this weekend. Go all the way from here to America."

Chris was bemused, "why on earth would we do that?"

"So you know how I like spooky scary shit, right?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Well there's this place in Hollywood called the museum of death, it looks super rad so I wanted to go. And I was like, hey why not go with my best bro, Chris."

"I don't know."

"Come on dude, it's summer break, what's a better thing to do than to go on a roadtrip from here to Hollywood to see a museum full of serial killers art work."

Chris took a deep breath, "yeah sure dude lets do it, it sounds like it'll be. Rad. As. Fuck."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sorry for not updating anyway have another short and meaningless chapte  
> this chapter is basically just to let you guys know that im still updating since i hadnt in a few days  
> i have an actual idea of what to do next chapter tho so stay tuned 
> 
> no content/trigger warnings this chapter

With little planning Josh and Chris packed a bag or two and decided to head out on Friday. All that they had decided on was they were going to go from Alberta, all the way to Washington, where they were going to stop for a few days in Seattle. Then they were going to stop in Oregon, probably stay at Seaside for a while. And then they were going to go to Californa where Hollywood was, where the museum of death was. 

Josh was determined to tell Chris how he felt on the way there. He probably should have thought about the fact that if Chris rejected him he'd probably be stuck in a car with him for who knows how long, in very, very awkward silence. But hey, it was too late to go back on the plan now. 

And with that they got in the car and left after having said goodbye to their friends.  
Ash had given Josh a supportive and encouraging nod as they had left, trying to say something probably along the lines of, "go get 'em tiger." 

The first half hour of the road trip no one spoke. Mostly they were just listening to the radio and enjoying the scenery, neither of them really traveled so the first half hour was just awe. Excitement buzzing through the air.

"Dude we should stop and get lunch." Chris finally said, breaking the comfortable silence.

"What? Bro, we like just ate, before we left."

"Yeah but- I'm always hungry. Can we stop and get some gas station candy."

"Bro you can't live on gas station candy."

"Why not?"

"You will literally die."

"You've never had to deal with being poor where all you ate was 5 dollar pizza, trust me I can live on gas station food."

"Dude how are you not five thousand pounds?"

Chris just laughed, then his face dropped, "okay but no seriously, can we stop somewhere."

So they did, they stopped at a gas station and stocked up on disgusting gas station corn-dogs and junk food and put it in all in the back seat of Josh's car. Chris decided to take over the wheel and let Josh relax as he drove.

A few minutes into driving Josh's phone rang.

Without looking at caller ID he picked it up.

"Sup?"

"Hello, Josh? It's doctor Hill, I called to ask why you have missed your therapy session today?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm going to America."

"What?!"

"I'm on a roadtrip, don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Joshua this is a very bad idea."

"Yeah, I know. Got to go."

He hung up.

"What was that about?" Chris said, taking his eyes off the road to face Josh.

"Nothing, just someone wondering where I was." Josh said with a shrug.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy a chapter that actually gets something done and isnt only a page long  
> good job me 
> 
> no content/trigger warnings for this chapter

-Josh Washington-

Chris and Josh had been driving for maybe seven hours now, Chris had been driving for four and Josh had driven for three. Chris was a lot more comfortable driving that Josh was, for whatever reason.

"Dude you look tired, should-Should we find a place to crash?" Josh said, looking over at Chris who was yawning a lot and had droopy eyes. Josh wasn't too tired, but he didn't want to get them into a crash if he suddenly- well- crashed himself.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." Chris said, yawning again, which caused Josh to yawn.

Josh pulled out his phone and searched for the nearest motel and gave Chris instructions on how to get there. It took a half hour but they eventually got an old motel that looked like it was probably where drug dealers met up and where people took prostitutes. Romantic.

They parked Josh's car and headed inside.

The person at the front desk was a younger guy with ginger hair with black streaks in it, bright blue eyes and extreme tattoos. He looked very bored and eyed Josh and Chris as they walked in.

Chris smiled at him as he walked up to the desk.

"Do you have any open rooms for the night?"

"You two a couple?" The ginger asked.

"What?! No?!" Chris said, looking nervous as a blush spread across his face.   
A pang of horror and anxiety hit Josh. Chris had seemed so taken aback by the question, outraged even. Would he react that way when Josh told him about his crush? Would he be outraged? Disgusted at Josh?

Josh had never told him he liked guys, hell he didn't tell anyone. The only people who knew were his sisters and now they were...He took a deep breath. He had to calm down, he couldn't have a panic attack right here in front of Chris and this stranger.

"Shame, all we have left is a couples room." The boy said, slightly snapping Josh out of his thoughts.

"Oh? Well whats the difference between a normal room and a couples room?"

"Mood lighting, queen sized bed, almost everything is heart shaped."

Chris laughed, "we can share a bed. We're bros, it's not weird." Chris said with a smile. Then turned to Josh, "are you okay with that?" He questioned.

"Y-Yeah." Josh said, he was digging his nails into his wrists trying to stabilize himself.

Chris rose an eyebrow at Josh, but he decided not to make a scene out of Josh's weird behavior and instead just nodded at the boy up front.

"Yeah, we'll take it then!"

Chris pulled out his wallet and paid for the night, with a little bit extra as a tip for the front desk guy.

They walked back out to their car and opened the trunk to get out whatever they needed.

"You okay man?" Chris asked as they were walking to the room.

"Yeah...Yeah."

Chris let out a sigh, "seriously, dude. If you're upset you need to tell me."

"I'm fine." Josh snapped, getting a little annoyed with Chris being nosy.

"Sorry." Chris said, obviously upset by Josh snapping at him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Sorry dude, I just. Overthinking things." He said, trying to repair the damage he had done.

"Oh, well, do you wanna talk about it?" Chris asked, putting the key into the keyhole and opening the door to the room.

"Not really." Josh said with a sigh.

The boy at the front desk wasn't kidding when he had said the entire room was almost all hearts.

The bedside tables were hearts, the bed frames headboard was a heart, the fucking minifridge was a heart.

"Wow, this is so romantic." Chris said, making joking kissy faces as Josh.

Josh laughed, butterflies rushing throughout his entire body.

"Yeah dude, little do you know I'm actually madly in love with you." Josh said, trying to play his emotions off as a joke.

It worked apparently since Chris laughed and gave him a wink before running forward and doing a bellyflop onto the bed.

Josh laughed a little and shut the door, but then followed suit and jumped onto the bed next to Chris.

"How many people do you think banged in this room?" Chris said suddenly, making Josh laugh loudly.

"If they had standards, I would hope none." Josh said with a grin.

Chris returned the grin and it was so genuine and happy it made Josh blush. The butterflies returning in his stomach. 

He turned away so Chris wouldn't see his reddening face and pretended like he was looking for a remote for the tv that was mounted on the wall in front of the bed.

"Whatcha looking for?" Chris said.

"The remote, is it over there?" Josh said, opening a drawer to the night stand on his side of the bed.

Chris did the same but on the other side.

"Yep." Chris said, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv.

Glad that his blush had subsided Josh sat back up and turned to face Chris who was now watching the tv, flipping through channels.

Chris sat back and was watching a movie that was playing on the disney channel. Chris was smiling, his eyes droopy from tiredness but bright with joy. His hair was a little messy too from doing that bellyflop onto the bed.

And damn, Josh had the worse impulse control.

"Do you remember when we used to watch this as ki-" Chris had started talking but his words were quickly stifled by Josh's lips on his. What the hell was he doing? Josh was kissing Chris and it felt like a thousand fireworks were going off all at once as he tried to hard to press himself closer the the blonde who- was he kissing him back?

Maybe it was just Josh's imaginations but he felt like Chris was pushing into the kiss as well? His heart raced but as quickly as it had started it was over. Josh, realizing what he was doing pulled away and the look of horror on his own face was terrible.

Chris just sat there looking awestruck, his glasses half fallen off from the sudden face on face contact.

Before Chris could say a single word Josh spoke.  
"I have to- I ha-have to go." He said, then stood up and was walking out the door. And then once the door shut behind him he was running.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa!! two whole chapters in one day!!?!??!!! amazing?!?!!  
> idk i just felt really inspired today and i have no self control over how quickly i update this fic
> 
> content warning: blood/blood mentions (josh falls down and cuts his knees/hands)

-Josh Washington-

Josh was running, he wasn't sure where but he needed to get as far away from here as he could. His thoughts were all jumbled and he couldn't get a clear image of what he was thinking about. Everything was mixing and he couldn't focus.

His head felt too full but the rest of him was empty, as if a void was consuming him. He wished one was.

Fuck he was so stupid, when he told Chris about his crush he wanted to do it- well- not in that way!  
He wanted to talk to him, discuss things, see how Chris felt about it. Not just straight up fucking *kiss* him. What was wrong with him?!

Next thing Josh knew he was sitting under a tree, his hands and knees were bleeding. Had he fallen down at some point? He couldn't even remember where he was. Was this how Hannah and Beth had felt? Scared, terrified, running through the woods.

Josh felt his eyes prickling as tears stung at them, but he couldn't cry. Not that he didn't want to, he was sure crying would help him feel better, but he just *couldn't* cry. He was too zoned out to do anything.

He just stared as the blood from his cut knee turned his jeans a rust red.

What was he going to do? How could he face Chris after that? God he was such an idiot.

He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down as best as he could. He knew it wasn't going to help but he could try. His entire body was shaking and he wanted to sob because he could feel the hiccuping pressure building in this throat. But he was so tired, he couldn't.

Josh was zoned out, half asleep, half in a panic that stopped him from actually falling asleep in the woods. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know what time it was. He didn't know how far he had run or what direction he had.

If someone didn't find him he was sure he wouldn't find his way back. He didn't remember running a trail, so he must have just crashed threw bushes.

Would he die out here? Because in a blind panic without thinking he had decided to run into the woods? His thoughts went back to Hannah and Beth and he almost felt like he could hear them. No, no this couldn't be happening. He covered his ears without thinking and his face got covered in the blood that was on his hands. He didn't care.

He closed his eyes and covered his ears. If he couldn't see and he couldn't hear nothing would happen to him, right? Of course that's not how it worked but he was delusion and tired and panicked. He wanted this to end.

"Go away, go a-away, g-g-go away." He repeated, his entire body shaking.

Then he felt something pulling on his arm and he flailed his arm out, smacking the person who had touched him.

"Ow!" A familiar voice yelped, it was Chris. 

Josh felt both relived and panicked.

"Josh, hey, are you okay?" Chris said, slowly walking back up to Josh, a red marking forming on his arm where Josh had hit him. 

Josh said nothing, he was so scared and so upset now that he saw Chris. Would Chris hate him now? Had he messed up everything? Had he messed up their friendship?

Now he was crying.

Chris looked panicked, he didn't know how to handle this situation. So the first thing Chris thought to do was reach out and hug Josh.

Josh shied away from the touch at first, but then felt relived about the safety Chris's arms brought and began to sob into Chris's chest.

"I'm s-so-sor." Josh tried to say, but he was hiccuping with sobs too much to get any words out.

"Shh, it's okay dude, it's okay." Chris said comfortingly.

They stayed like that, Chris holding Josh in his arms for a long time while Josh sobbed, for probably 10 minutes. Josh finally got himself to pull away from the hug.

"Are you okay?" Chris asked, concern covering every feature of his face.

"No." Josh said truthfully.

"What happened?" Chris said, Josh assumed he was talking about the kiss.

"I-I'm so-sorry I didn't- I didn't mean to- I just."

"Hey, it's okay." Chris said.  
"Why'd you kiss me, dude?" Chris questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I've...I've...I don't know...I've had the- the worst crush-."

"You have a crush on me?!" Chris said, the look of sympathy Chris gave Josh made Josh want to hit himself. He felt pathetic.

"Yeah." Josh said quietly.

"Why didn't you just say something?"

"I- I didn't want to- didn't want to mess things up between us."

"Awh, Jesus, Josh. I'm sorry." Chris said.

Why was Chris apologizing, Josh's thoughts went to the worse case scenario. Did he mess things up between them? He voiced this worry.

"Do you- do you hate me now." Ugh, the way he had said it was so pitiful but he had almost no control over what he said anymore.

"What?! No way!" Chris said, looking startled.  
"Josh I wouldn't just like, throw you away over a crush." Chris said, looking extremely worried that Josh would even think such a thing.

"Dude, if you want to try dating, we can." Chris said after a few moments of silence.

Josh couldn't believe what he was hearing. But once the words had registered he felt like crying again. Ten years, ten years he had a crush on Chris. And now Chris was saying they could try dating. And his head was spinning and his heart was thumping and everything was so confusing and scary but wonderful at the same time and next thing he knew he was kissing Chris again. And this time he was sure Chris was kissing him back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly internal monologuing from chris   
> and its also kinda venty since ive been in chris' place with the sexuality thing 
> 
> content warnings: blood mentions (same reason as before), and sexuality eraser kinda? or sexuality blame i guess is a better word

-Chris-

Chris was exhausted, and he was sure that Josh was too. It had been an emotional day and Chris just wanted to sleep.

Now, walking back to the motel room, the whole thing seemed ironic almost. The whole 'couples' room thing. Since now he guessed him and Josh were a couple? Fuck dude, he had a boyfriend.

The thought was both terrifying and exciting. His thoughts wandered to Ashley, he knew he really liked her but he knew Josh was his best friend and they would make a pretty sick couple. And he had a crush on Josh back in middle school and most of high-school but since his parents weren't the most understanding of types he had never acted on this.

His parents wouldn't have kicked him out of the house if he had said he thought he might like guys too. But they would have been really passive aggressive about it, and he probably wouldn't let any guy friends come over anymore. So, he kept it to himself.

A while ago he had been really *really* confused about his sexuality and went to talk to Sam. Since Sam was the most educated of them on this topic. They had sat in Sam's room for an hour while Chris awkwardly tried to explain how he liked boys, and girls, and really anyone. But he had never really wanted to have sex with anyone. He didn't find people sexy or hot. He wanted to kiss and cuddle and stuff like that but he had never really wanted to do anything past that.

Sam had told him it sounded like he was "asexual", he didn't get the term at first but after research he was really glad to have found something that fit him. After they had slept he thought he should tell Josh that he was asexual. And that he wasn't going to want to have sex. And that too much physical contact kinda weirded him out. 

Would Josh reject him after he told him? Fuck he hoped not. He felt so selfish for being this way. He had been called all sorts of names, selfish, picky, broken. All the gross shit but he didn't let it get to him because hey he didn't have bad self esteem. But if Josh rejected him over that. Jesus, he felt terrible now.

Maybe he wouldn't tell Josh, maybe he would just keep it inside of him and let it fester there. He didn't care if he was uncomfortable. Well, he did care. But he just wanted Josh to be happy.

Yeah, good idea Chris, just avoid the thing and it will go away, right?

As they walked out of the forest and back to the Motel he finally stopped his thoughts since the redheaded boy ran up to meet them.

"Jesus, are you guys okay? You're covered in blood." He said, eyeing Josh who still had blood going down his legs and hands.

"I j-just fell it's- I'm okay." Josh said, he sounded so tired.

"Well I saw you two running to the woods and I was seriously about to call the cops. I thought blondey was like chasing you trying to kill you or something."

"Um, well thanks for, not doing that?" Chris said, giving the boy a small smile.

"Yeah well, I couldn't have someone murdered on my watch so."

Chris just nodded, "yeah well we need to get to bed. Thanks for the concern."

"Yeah, yeah." The boy mumbled before walking away.

Chris led Josh into the motel room and they both laid down in bed, not bothering to change their clothes or get all the blood off. They were just so tired.


End file.
